Well fuck, this is supposed to be the holidays? My parents and I are as far as ever in terms of a family. I hate it. This might seem a phase or whatever where you hate your parents but I don’t think so, it’s been going on for a couple of years now, can barely stand it and it’s getting worse everyday, I don’t know what to do, I feel like I shouldn’t even be in this family at all. I don’t really want to be here during the holidays if I can’t express the fact that I’m not feeling loved (family love) to my dad, The only love they know is materialistic, money, cars, bills, which are all important and it’s not that I’m not thankful for that it’s just that all my parents keep referring to is material love.. which hurts. I’d say it’s a reason why I’m starting not to believe in love. In all, I might just be stupid, but I just had put down whats on my mind. Psh.. talking about love means bringing all the family together, all I you and mom are doing is pushing me away. I was just trying to reason.Shittiest holidays in my life.